Today was another good day. We had our annual Christmas lunch at a local Mexican restaurant. I did my research and was prepared. I didn't eat any chips and salsa. I ordered Tacos Pescada (fish tacos) and ate them without the tortillas or sour cream. When I got back to my desk I ate my orange. The only thing I didn't get done today was my walk. I had handbell practice after work and by the time I got done with that and cooked dinner it was too late. But I stuck to my menu for dinner and so I'm not going to beat myself up over it. I'll walk tomorrow for sure.
I was thinking about the past year - 2012. Definitely had its high points and low points. It was a stressful year for me and I think that's why I gained back all the weight I lost and then some. No excuses... just trying to figure out what went wrong so I don't repeat it. The month of February the best thing and the worst thing happened to me simultaneously. First let me back track to January. That started it all because my mom went into the hospital. When she got out and was getting better my dad went in for what we thought was going to be a pretty routine procedure but something went terribly wrong and he ended up in ICU for over a month. While he was there my first grandchild was born! I was torn between two places - I wanted to be with my mom and dad but I wanted to be here for my daughter and son-in-law. I felt guilty every minute of every day, no matter where I was. My dad continued to have ups and downs, was in a nursing home until June when he finally got to go home but he still can't walk or sit up on his own. It's hard to see my dad like that. He and mom are world travelers, so active. It's just been a really hard adjustment, especially since I'm so far away. I feel like I'm no help to them at all. And my mom seems to get thinner every time I see her.
At the same time all of that was going on with my parents, I was having a terrible time at work. It got to the point that I was seriously looking for a different job (and I had planned to work where I do now until I retire). For the first time since I started working at my current job I hated going there every day. I cried every night and a lot of mornings. I couldn't sleep. I drank too much. And ate too much. It was a terrible situation. Thankfully the problem was resolved and my work life went back to being enjoyable again around the beginning of the summer. Things are finally beginning to feel good there again (except for the upcoming move - ha ha).
So you see the title of my blog has sort of a double meaning - sometimes I feel like I'm losing it! :o)
In 2013 I'm going to try to focus more on the blessings in my life. I am enjoying my grandson so much and I still have my parents and can visit them by jumping in the car and driving a few hours. And I know I have so much else to be thankful for. So my resolution (other than losing weight of course) is to enjoy every day and remember all the good things in my life. AND TRY NOT TO LOSE IT! (except for the weight). :o)
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